Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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