Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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