Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
