Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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