apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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