are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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