The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
how do flat chested girls get laid?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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