Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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