That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
