shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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