so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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