your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She's JV to your varsity
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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