Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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