I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
