I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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