I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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