She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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