I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
