she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
