true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
