Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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