He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
