I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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