If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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