i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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