Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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