i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize