Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
