Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
