I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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