we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
