The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
