my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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