I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
