I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
