they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
