Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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