Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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