So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
