You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
