he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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