See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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