The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I understand Curling. That high.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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