hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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