You just made me feel so damn special
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
