hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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