Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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