he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
