apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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