To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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