i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
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I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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