Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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