Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
