careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
