Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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