I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
