he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
