I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
